It is...what it is...

I sit alone...Alone in a decrepit plastic chair....weathered and tinged...a brownish green haze seems to have invaded and sullied the once virginal whiteness...it is cold and slightly damp but it becomes my place of solace...my place for remembrance and reflection....I look out into the night where no one treads, not at this hour...up in the sky a twinkling of gaseous orbs radiate...as if just for me....The foliage around me basks in a somber white glow...........I may have fallen for you the first time I ever laid eyes on you. My heart stops, then briefly flutters, and only as you breeze on by does it spring to life, quickly accelerating to a full blown racing engine of want and desire....the way your silky hair falls across your perfectly sun-kissed, lightly freckled face almost framing your utter beauty in a living portrait, forever forged in my mind....I am an addict for your touch, even the gentle whisp of delightfully fragranced air as you pass arouses my senses, the hair on my arms standing fully erect, almost struggling to pull themselves free from their fleshy prison, if only for...just...one....touch...."I have fulfilled my destiny!" The chestnut pools for your eyes reveal much, and nothing, and remind me that I don't know a thing. I look to the heavens on a clear summer night hoping the shining, twinkling stars have all the answers........."Do you remember the moonlight?"....Casting a knowing glow on your shadowy face. The darkness envelopes your features...but rest assured i have them mesmerized....a mental cheatsheet to my desires....i can easily sketch each detail in my mind...my senses are heightened....the sounds of approaching traffic are cloaked in the darkness, a slight rustle in the bushes...was it just the wind?...directionless and distant but the night will soon reveal its secrets to me....you sit before me in the blackness...i can feel you....the energy cannot be denied...not on this night anyway....the heat...the passion....they will reveal themselves if only for this night....a kiss comes forth....the colour of your glistening lips breaks the void of nothingness...i barely have time to ready myself...unprepared but eager and willing...But on this night i sit with a heavy, lonely heart...battered and bruised....'RETURN TO SENDER!' stamped on it...held together with baling wire and scotch tape but still very confident...i listen to my heart....why?...i do not know...I cannot listen to my head there are too many distractions...too many changes, too many points of view, whether skewed or not....nonetheless, always changing and tainted by too much information...the heart however always remains true, an undeniable feeling that drives me...has driven me for my whole life and i have a feeling will guide me to the end...at what point do we know who we should be with?....do we ever know?....do things change in our lives over time so much that we forget what we were working towards in the first place...should we just cherish those times that we feel will never occur again?....i sit here...but now all that sits before me is a glowing electronic box that i type my seemingly deepest darkest thoughts into for everyone to see....when i look up i see nothing....nothing but darkness and shadows, and the ghost of a good thing...