Awakened from Hibernation

Well, summer is just around the corner and it's time for everyone to realize just how difficult it will be to squeeze their pasty white butts into those shorts from last summer. Oomph!....well, they are finally on.......but it appears as if Leonardo himself had painted them onto their extremities, and lookie...nice muffin top poking out the top of the painfully stretched cotton, leaving nice red deeply etched tattoos when they are removed. No doubt the consequence of months of winter abuse and inactivity. I've noticed many blogs pop up from people documenting their 'new found' efforts to lose that winter flubber; and the fitness websites are abuzz with the latest tips and quick fixes to zap those pounds. Admittedly, I let myself go in the winter months....by 'let go' I mean that I forgo the bike. She sits in a corner taunting me each time I walk by, taunts turn to scorn as the months roll by, as the snow and cold pummel us all into submission. The joys of living in a geography consisting of actual seasons.....Don't get me wrong, for the most part my job is quite physical, so it's just a matter of watching what I eat, and decreasing portions accordingly. Awwwww the winter, the comfort foods come out of hiding, and Christmas is an especially hard time to 'just say NO.' So before you know it February has rolled around and the damage from all of this abuse is obviously evident. I guess I could hit the rollers or stationary, but for me, I really find it boring and pointless. I ride my bike to experience the outdoors, and nature in her splendor. Staring at a wall or TV riding in one place more closely resembles a hamster on a wheel, to me, anyhow. I just don't enjoy it. So what else is there? Oh, the gym.....I think I hate the gym more than stationeries. Too competitive, geeez ‘I hope I look alright in my designer sweats. Does my butt look too fat when I bend over to pick up the weights...am I lifting properly?’....’why is that creepy guy staring at me?’...’I hope I don't sweat on anything’...’I hope I don't grunt too loudly at the end of this difficult set. Hey, isn't that guy on American Gladiators?’....I don’t know, too many factors for me personally, it’s not that I particularly care what people think about me, but I liken the gym to one of those silly TV shows that vote people off each week....it's hard to get comfortable and I don't need to be reminded that there are younger, stronger and more buff people than I, out there, albeit, 'chemically enhanced.' I guess I could get a home gym....but I don’t really have the space for it. To be honest, I hate resistance training all together, for the most part. So as April approaches I psyche myself up to get out there again. I always remember that first ride in the spring. I climb atop my steed and the first thing I notice is that my ass hurts almost immediately. Oh it’s going to be a long ride. I haven’t even pulled out of the driveway yet and already I wish I had triple padded shorts on. Okay, I can do this....the balance thing takes a few blocks to come back....No track stand at the lights today....I just unclip or I'll fall into the gutter...Man down!....The legs seem fine....the lungs....not so much...It will be a short ride today. I call the first few rides of the season my 'getting the lungs back' rides. Wow, 10km and I'm already huffin’ and puffin like I just rode a century. So as I dart down the path and pass many more catastrophes of winter, I don't feel as bad anymore. I learned many years ago that dieting is really about willpower. There are no quick fixes, at all. People are constantly on the lookout for the next easy, quick and seemingly, effective way to weight loss...well losing it is actually quite simple. You put down that fork before you are full. You eat small portions 5 or 6 times a day. You exercise 3 times a week, where you get your heart rate into the zone for a good portion of it, and forgo the beer and wine, well, alcohol all together, at least in moderation, anyhow. I know lots of people who ride bikes for 'fitness' but riding 30, 40 or 80km is really a waste of time for weight loss when you don't hit those zones, climb the hills, or sprint to your max heart rate for 30 second intervals. You might as well be the proverbial, hamster on a wheel. And if you stop during your ride for that latte or sugar laden drink or 'treat'. You have effectively wasted all of your efforts. Train with a HRM and a computer. Know how far you have gone and keep the pace up. Hey I'm all for those friendly 'Grandma' rides, but effective training takes effective and hard work. Don't expect results or street cred when you ride 80km in 4 hours and stop at every variety store along the way. You might as well of stayed home and rode your rusty stationary bike and listened to an audio book......