Chemistry Class

Have you ever felt like you were on the precipice of greatness? There is this sickening of the heart that seems to accompany this feeling when you are rewarded with a glimpse into your future. Some are frightened by it, and then there are those who embrace it. I feel like I have a 6^th sense when it comes to detecting disturbances in the natural progression of my relationship life. I am very sensitive, an open book, so to speak, and I love communication. I know I am ready and able to pursue happiness with another. I don’t consider myself desperate but it feels terrible to be alone when you know in your heart that you have so much to share and love to give.

So what do you do when the relationship is moving too fast? Do you step back and re-evaluate, which can often end up skewing your judgment when you over-analyze things; or do you continue at a seemingly unnatural pace and let the cards fall where they may. Sometimes things are just not worth fighting for, but when your heart skips a beat at the first sight of someone, and their touch produces a tingling that envelopes your entire body…then, in my opinion…you pursue it…relentlessly…

Chemistry is very rare….so it seems…throwing it away too hastily could prove to be a huge error in judgment, when really, all that was needed was a little bit of communication to evaluate the direction, intensity and overall comfort level. My feelings often leave me with a sense of being overwhelmed, sometimes I feel like I feel too much. But I guess I don’t know any other way…I follow my heart. 

Dating is tough…especially online…I often hear how unnatural it is, and to an extent I agree. We come from a generation of face to face talks and handshakes. We have evolved into a digital age where we find ourselves attracted to a pixelated image of the opposite sex, and often times base our feelings on a false illusion of another. That first meeting either removes all doubt or completely shuts down any chance of further communication. I guess I have seen both sides of this anomaly. Often times it is quite painful when one party feels differently and you have built up your expectations so greatly that there is really no choice but to collapse. 

I have many flaws, I know…..physical ones even…I do not have perfect teeth (I hold 3 martial arts belts from my younger days and sometimes you get kicked in the mouth)…and I’m sure there are many others…..but I don’t feel my judgment or heart is flawed in any way. It is the only thing that remains honest and true.